Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
