they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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