I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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