1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize