M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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