So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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