We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
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