They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
