You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
