Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize