He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
