Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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