he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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