my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
