You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
