we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
