I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
pray to the hookup gods
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
