It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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