I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
