epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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