I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
