you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I am naked and annoyed.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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