i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I will pee on everything he values.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
