He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
