Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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