9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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