i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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