Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
