Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My hand turned me down
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
