and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
