You're completely useless in the revolution.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
