the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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