Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
