Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
