I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize