When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
