Christians are straight up FREAKS
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
