Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box

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(917): View more from New York City

Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'

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(830): View more from Texas

just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

organizing the empties. That sober.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air

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