Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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