Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You were trust falling into bushes
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
