why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
please don't ironically join a cult
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