My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
