i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
