when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize