i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
This house was built for laser tag.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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