I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
