Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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