can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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