If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
