Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
