babies were throwing up all over the place
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Couch. On fire.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
