i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize