im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
