i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
