ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize