hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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