... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You're breaking my sexual little heart
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
