Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
