Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
