i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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