I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just want to make out with him forever
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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