I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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