Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize