She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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