You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
