Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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