hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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