We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
