White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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