you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
