i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
NoShamevember. You game?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
