I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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