I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
