I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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