it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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