im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
