Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
