There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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