Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
where does the pee come out of this thing
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
