Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
and you fell through a lawn chair
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
