new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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