Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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