I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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