dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
