This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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