I looked at my own cervix.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
