we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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